Question: Donny, my husband criticized me and has called me names that are very demeaning. He is also obsessed with the house being clean and yells constantly about all I don't do right. He tells me that it is normal for men to ask their wives to get certain things accomplished because he works all day and I only work part time. We have 5 kids. When the first 3 were tiny, he hit me about a total of 3 times. He doesn't do that anymore. I joined the church at the age of 18 and have found that I don't believe in the idealism I once did. I feel lost and angry and am not sure of my worth to be honest. He cannot handle counselling,we have tried numerously. When we get home from a session, he criticizes all I commented on.
Response: I am so very sorry you are having to experience any kind of abuse. The church leaders are very emphatic in their condemnation of such treatment. I can certainly understand how you feel so hurt and even hopeless.
The Doctrine and Covenants teaches "That the rights of the priesthood are inseparably connected with the powers of heaven, and that the powers of heaven cannot be controlled nor handled only upon the principles of righteousness. That they may be conferred upon us, it is true; but when we undertake to cover our sins, or to gratify our pride, our vain ambition, or to exercise control or dominion or compulsion upon the souls of the children of men, in any degree of unrighteousness, behold, the heavens withdraw themselves; the Spirit of the Lord is grieved; and when it is withdrawn, Amen to the priesthood or the authority of that man. Behold, ere he is aware, he is left unto himself, to kick against the pricks, to persecute the saints, and to fight against God. We have learned by sad experience that it is the nature and disposition of almost all men, as soon as they get a little authority, as they suppose, they will immediately begin to exercise unrighteous dominion. Hence many are called, but few are chosen. No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned;" (Doctrine and Covenants | Section 121:36 - 41).
I do not think there is much that I can say to help you. I am confident, however that the Lord loves you and that he will support you if you reach out to him in prayer and in the way you live your life.
