Question: I am a part of a "recovery from Mormonism" group. I admire you greatly and would never criticize you for your beliefs. I'm sure you have come across your fair share of ex-Mormons and was wondering what your thoughts are about those who leave the Church.
Response: In regards to your statement, I cannot, nor will I try to give any advice or council to a "Recovery of Mormonism" person. I admire that you would even email me and admire even more, the fact that you would not even make criticism at my conviction to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We all have the God-given right to believe exactly how we want to believe and should not condemn anyone for those rights.
May I just say that I have been, as you well know, across this world so many, many times and have had the opportunity to talk to quite a few people in your same situation. Invariably, the one common factor in all of them is that the basics of the Gospel were never really understood and that all of the peripheral aspects, the doctrine and dogma, shook that very delicate and faint testimony; that the Book of Mormon wasn't thoroughly read from cover to cover, and they hadn't, as Moroni requests, "asked God" with real sincerity if it's true.
I heard at one time that there are usually two factors that play a big role in people leaving the Church:
The Word of Wisdom. Either there is a problem with abstinence from things like coffee or tobacco and they're just not strong enough to give it up, or fasting once a month seems too big of a sacrifice for them.
Being offended by a church leader. Someone, either a member of their ward or one of the leaders, such as a bishop or a teacher said something or did something that offended them, and they just can't find it in their hearts to humble themselves enough to forgive and forget.
This second point I can completely relate to. You can only imagine the comments I've heard in my life from people within the Church who are only more than willing to give you their own two cents worth on what you should or shouldn't be doing, a so-called "awakening" to your unrighteousness. I call them the "Holier-Than-Thou Mormons." Every religion has them. To these comments I always say "The gospel is perfect; it's the members that are far from being perfect."
I haven't always had the testimony I have now. There were times that I had serious questions in my mind. One time in particular stands out when I was 16 years old and the Donny & Marie show was just about to become a reality. My face was all over teen magazines and I was traveling all the time. I was being subjected to constant interviews, and since I was in my mid-teens, I wasn't being asked silly questions like, "So do you really wear purple socks?" The questions were becoming more serious and thought-provoking.
I started to feel like somewhat of a hypocrite when I would make statements like, "I know The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is true" and "I know that Joseph Smith was a true prophet of God and was instrumental in restoring the true Gospel of Jesus Christ" and "I know that we have a living prophet on the earth today" when in fact I had not even seriously sat down and read The Book of Mormon from cover to cover, yet alone had a conviction to want to know of its authenticity and truthfulness. Oh, I would pray, I would live like a Latter-day Saint, but I was going through the motions just because my parents were, my siblings were and most of all, because the world knew what I was. So, I was so-called "stuck" and would look like a fool and come under such severe criticism from my family, my following, but particularly members of the Church and its leaders if I forsook the faith. (So I thought!)
I decided not to live a life of lies, but to actually put it to the test and find out once and for all what I personally believed in. I did realize though, that I must do it the way the Lord has asked us... humbly, righteously and submissively, with a "lowly heart and a contrite spirit," not with the attitude of "All right, Heavenly Father, I've done my part, now you do yours!" Just as Joseph Smith pointed out as he was reading the epistle of James: "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth (find fault) not; and it shall be given him. (James 1:5)
I knew how important a task this was because if I did in fact receive some kind of confirmation of the truthfulness of the Gospel by the Spirit of God as Moroni states in Chapter 10 verses 3-5, it would change my life forever.
So, I started reading The Book of Mormon. Oh, I didn't fully understand everything that was presented, but I forged through it and tried my hardest to grasp everything I could. There were parts that I really enjoyed, some not as much as others and parts I didn't even really understand. But, every night I looked forward to retiring to my bed, opening the pages of this marvelous book and reading about the history of the American continent and the way the Lord would help those who truly humble themselves when faced with adversities.
I particularly enjoyed the part in 3rd Nephi when the Savior appeared as a resurrected being to the people of Nephi. Then there is the allegory of the Tree of Life from Lehi, the battles that Alma went through; the heart-rending epistles of Moroni and so much more.
I don't recall how long it took me to get from cover to cover but suffice it to say I read every word in that book. The day came when I turned the last page over and closed the book. I wanted to know! I did what I was suppose to do. As humbly as possible, after fasting and a lot of praying up to this time, I went into my room and made sure that it was a time when there would be no disturbances. I knelt down in prayer.
What I write here is very special to me, and mere words cannot convey the feelings nor do I have the vocabulary to express what happened at that moment. There were no angels, no voices or glorified beings that manifested themselves to me. There were no thunderous sounds or events that shook the ground and caused me to tremble. There was the most peaceful acknowledgment of truth and light that entered my mind. It was as if a door opened to a simple yet beautiful understanding of the authenticity of The Book of Mormon. I knew then as I know now and will know for the rest of eternity that this book is in fact a second witness that Jesus is the Christ.
I had done what James said to do from the Bible. I completed the prerequisites that Moroni suggested. And yes it did, in fact, change my life for the rest of my life.
