| Question |
I'd like your thoughts on this issue. My non-LDS husband forbids me to pay tithing (which would be quite a sizeable amount). Still, I spend quite a bit of money each year traveling to see Donny in concert, meet up with girlfriends and just plain have fun! I often feel guilty for endulging myself this way. My husband tells me I can spend this money to go have fun, but I am forbidden from paying tithing. I cannot go against his wishes, especially since I love him so.
As a result of not paying tithing, regardless of the circumstances, my bishop has denied me a Temple recommend. I regret that, since I have a family tree database that holds over 21,000 names -- and I continue to do the research. You see, there's so much wonderful work to be done! But I digress.
A couple that are dear friends of mine have recommended I go over the Bishop's head to my Stake President. The brother in this couple has served as a Bishop, so they're very active in the church. I do not feel comfortable taking their advice. What can I do to regain my Temple recommend?
Lately, I've been inactive, but when I was active, I served in my callings, participated, and attended church meetings. The only thing I could not do was pay tithing. My bishop believes I can somehow get my husband to allow me to do it. He doesn't know my husband at all.
Thank you for any suggestions you can offer. I'm not a whole person not being able to attend the Temple.
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| Response |
I certainly would not hesitate to ask my Stake President about this, but it seems to me that if you do not have your own income, you would owe no tithing, but if you do have your own separate income it is difficult to say that this prerequisite to attend the temple could be avoided.
Let me try to explain why.
In the temple covenants we promise to be 100% committed to following the Lord. It is a solumn commitment, however, because it is the endowment or gift of that which will prepare us to dwell in the Celestial Kindom with God and Christ and become heir to all there is, and with it a fullness of joy. It is intended only for those whose "hearts are honest, and are broken, and their spirits contrite and are willing to observe their covenants by sacrifice -- yea, every sacrifice which I, the Lord, shall command" (D&C 97:8-9) As with Abraham of old, latter-day revelation says that to obtain 'the keys of the kingdom...one must be willing to sacrifice all earthly things'." (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith p. 332) Abraham was willing to sacrifice his most beloved son. We are not asked to do anything like that but we are asked to be willing to sacrifice earthly things for these eternal blessings. Abraham was never called upon to complete the sacrifice of his son, but he showed his willingness and that is sort of what we do in the temple. We are asked to pay our tithing and it is somewhat of an indication of our willingness to give up all earthly things. Of course, tithing is the means by which the Lord's Kingdom can function as it does and as it fills its mission to take the gospel to every nation, kindred, tongue and people.
This kind of commitment scares some people, but let me assure you that you needn't fear unless you have doubts about the divinity of the Church and Gospel and the authenticity of the Restored Priesthood and existences of true living prophets today. With a testimony of these truths, the temple offers the single greatest opportunity in this world and in this life. You should look forward to this with peace that comes from the Holy Ghost to be able to receive the greatest blessings offered in eternity.
Now, with this in mind, I would think that if your husband loves you like you love him, why couldn't you open your heart to him and tell him how important this is to you. I feel that if you are faithful ("in the strait and narrow path") and if you will fast and pray, the Lord will soften his heart and he will support you in paying an honest tithing on your income. If you have your own income and he continues to refuse to let you tithe and you remain active in the Church and "endure to the end", I am certain that you will, in due time, be able to recieve all of the blessings and opportunities that will enable you to be exalted in the Kingdom of our Father.
18 And then are ye in this strait and narrow path which leads to eternal life; yea, ye have entered in by the gate; ye have done according to the commandments of the Father and the Son; and ye have received the Holy Ghost, which witnesses of the Father and the Son, unto the fulfilling of the promise which he hath made, that if ye entered in by the way ye should receive.
19 And now, my beloved brethren, after ye have gotten into this strait and narrow path, I would ask if all is done? Behold, I say unto you, Nay; for ye have not come thus far save it were by the word of Christ with unshaken faith in him, relying wholly upon the merits of him who is mighty to save.
20 Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life.
(Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 31:18 - 20)
Let me know how it goes.
Sincerely,
Donny Osmond
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