I am 19 years old and living in England, i have been a Catholic my whole life and never falted from my belifs in God and Jesus, although over the past couple of years folowing a trip to the vatican in Rome, i have been seeing the Church in a different light. Although i know where i stand i no longer agree with all the Churches teachings. This continued over a period of time, but the past few months have been much worse.

Lots of little things have been steering my life, while considering doing part of my degree in America i was looking into univeristies in montanna and wyoming as i love the area and have visited it several times on holiday. But for a reason that i cannot explain i felt compelled to look into utah as well, having never visited the state. On top of this i felt the need to research the Mormon faith.

As time went on i found teachings of the church that i couldn't agree with, or seemed irrational to me. But during times of quiet meditation i felt the answers come to me. This is something that has taken me completly unaware and has scared me to tears on a number of occasions. Its hard to explain but was like hearing something but without hearing it. Fully formed answers that i could never have come to on my own being placed straight into my heart.

I truely believe that i have heard God and this scares me, for i do not have anyone to talk to about this, or what he is asking of me. In the community in which i live most friends do not believe at all and those who do i only know through the church, and share the catholics common closed mindedness.

I know that i'm edging closer to converting but i do not know how i should go about it. I still live in England although my heart lies in america, i do not know of any way. It is unreasonable for me to up and go, even though Jesus teaches us to leave everything and follow him. I can't see how i could do this without severing all ties with my family. Which brings me to another problem, I believe that following the commandments is parramount and we should try not to wavier from this in any way, so how would this fit when we are told to respect our mother and father, who have spent all the years of my life bringing me up in the catholic church. Which is more important to keep Gods laws, or to answer his call.

I'm feeling very much confused and alone, and have been brought to tears on many occasions simply overwhelmed by whats happening, without been able to turn to any one else. I have become closer to God by turning away from my Church. But there are parts of the Catholic faith that i could never give up, some of the prayers i have grown up with especially the rosary which i turn to whenever i need to meditate. I do not know what i should do or who i should go to for answers.

I hope you can help to point me in the right direction,

You are correct when you say we should always honour our father and mother, but Jesus taught that our loyalty to him and his gospel should take precedence if faced with the choice. He said, "He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me. (Matthew 10:37-38)

Please, however, Becki, before you pursue the course, I feel you should learn the basics of what I am convinced with all of my heart is the true church and gospel of Jesus Christ that has been restored to the earth in the latter days. My son, Brandon, is in Scotland on a mission for the Church and I wish I could have him come and teach you. I do have other friends, like him in the area where you live and if you would like, I could have them call you and arrange to meet you. They are about your age. They have dedicated two years out of their lives to serve these missions. If you would like to talk to them, send me back your address and phone number and I will have them call.

The key in your search, is prayer. I am confident that if you "Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:" (Matthew 7:7), and that "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. (James 1:5 - 6)

In the meantime, have you seen the presentations on www.donny.com in the My Belief's section? If not, just click on Multimedia and then click on the presentations. I suggest you start with the full presentations on "Life's Greatest Questions" then the "Book of Mormon" and "The Atonement". I would be very interested in what you get out of these presentations.

The feelings you are having, I have had myself and I know they are from our Heavenly Father. There are several scriptures that describe the source of what you are experiencing. Let me include some of them here:

"But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him. But God hath revealed them unto us by his Spirit: for the Spirit searcheth all things, yea, the deep things of God. For what man knoweth the things of a man, save the spirit of man which is in him? even so the things of God knoweth no man, but the Spirit of God. Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the spirit which is of God; that we might know the things that are freely given to us of God. Which things also we speak, not in the words which man's wisdom teacheth, but which the Holy Ghost teacheth; comparing spiritual things with spiritual. But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned. (1 Corinthians 2:9 - 14)

If ye love me, keep my commandments. And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever; Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye know him; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you. ... But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you. (John 14:15-17, 26)

Knowing this first, that no prophecy of the scripture is of any private interpretation. For the prophecy came not in old time by the will of man: but holy men of God spake as they were moved by the Holy Ghost. (2 Peter 1:20 - 21)

And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost. And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things. (Book of Mormon | Moroni 10:4 - 5)

Thank you for this special email and please forgive me for the delay.

Sincerely,

Donny Osmond


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