I hope you would be able to give me some words of comfort as I feel lost occasionally, and don't know how to move forward without guilt or trust being distroyed.

Thank you for your email. How can I be sure that you wrote it. It seems very supericial and unreal. Is this how you usually talk to people or it is that you have to distance yourself so much that you become superior to others.

I do appreciate the sentiment but I don't really understand the message.

If you could response in a more human way I might be able to understand the message.

I have known people who have had to face the challenges of the disability of a loved one and others who face other sorrows, even death. My family and I have recently been faced with this very challenge with the loss of our dear mother. When faced with any kind challenge, people can respond in several ways, I suppose, but looking at it from a spiritual point of view, which is the theme of My Belief section of my website, here is what I have observed. Some feel picked upon and become bitter or depressed about the problem or problems they face. Others see these as part of life, in fact as opportunities to serve and grow. I honestly believe that the latter is the kind of response what the Lord hopes will occur. Like it says in Romans 5:3 "...we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;" And in Acts 14:22, "...we must through much tribulation enter into the kingdom of God.

The Lord taught us to love and serve one another even to the extent that "...he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it." (Matthew 10:39) He teaches us to walk the extra mile for others and to give our coat and cloak also. In the Book of Mormon, a righteous King named Benjamin taught his people, "...when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God. (Book of Mormon | Mosiah 2:17)

I like the parable of the sheep and the goats in Matthew the 25th chapter verses 31-46 which says, "When the Son of man shall come in his glory, and all the holy angels with him, then shall he sit upon the throne of his glory: And before him shall be gathered all nations: and he shall separate them one from another, as a shepherd divideth his sheep from the goats: And he shall set the sheep on his right hand, but the goats on the left. Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: For I was an hungered, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me. Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungered, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee? Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee? And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me. Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye curse'd, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels: For I was an hungered, and ye gave me no meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me no drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me not in: naked, and ye clothed me not: sick, and in prison, and ye visited me not. Then shall they also answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungered, or athirst, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister unto thee? Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me. And these shall go away into everlasting punishment: but the righteous into life eternal." (Matthew 25:31 - 46) That some of the challenges people face are really spiritual opportunities for others. This was emphasized by the Lord in John 9:1-3, "AND as Jesus passed by, he saw a man which was blind from his birth. And his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind? Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him."

This may not be the answer you were looking for, but from the perspective of the teachings of Christ, this is the truth and the reaction that will bring happiness rather than disappointment and bitterness. The Lord will help you and give you the peace you need if you will trust in him enough to pray to our Heavenly Father for the strength and the peace you seek. I sincerely hope this answer helps, I do have friends who helps me answer my email. It was Bev, she did a wonderful job, and now it is Verl who is very good as well. As you can imagine, I get hundreds of questions. That's why I need a little help. I do review, rework and even rewrite every response to make sure it is exactly the way I want it to be. I assure you that every answer is personalized by me. That's one of the reasons why it takes so long to get a reply. Usually when I'm flying, I can take the time to answer questions. It's difficult at home because I'd rather spend that time with my wife and kids. I'm sure you understand.

I am very sorry you get the impression that I am in any way trying to come across as superior to anyone. That definitely is not my intent and I apologize for the scriptural answers I sent to you. Please keep in mind that when I answer each question, there are so many others that read my response the the questions. With that in mind, I suppose I make them rather broad or general.

I do want you to realize that I am genuinely sorry for the plight of your partner and of the suffering you are experiencing because of it. I am sure that seeing someone you love suffer is likely more painful that if you had the disability yourself. I am also sure that no one can begin to imagine the difficulties associated with the disability without personally experiencing it. Please believe that my heart goes out to you.

You do realize, I hope that the question you ask is a tough one and there is not really a lot to go on other than you sounded like you have written off God because your partner's disability. You did say, however that you had a great friendship. I am not sure what you would have wanted me to say to comfort you, but you did ask how one would come back from that. My answer took into account that everyone sooner or later suffers some major sorrow or difficulty in their lives and some feel terribly hurt and others have a more optimistic response. My feeling was and is that the way you could deal with your heartache is to turn back to God. I quoted a couple of scriptures that point out that tribulation or trials are an important part of the test of life and our response affect our chances to go to heaven.

I also quoted some scriptures that speak of the opportunity you might have and some joy you could experience as you help your disabled partner. I guess I didn't make that very clear, but I do believe that your future happiness depends upon your attitude and willingness to accept life as it comes and your ability to make the most of it no matter what comes your way.

Recently, one of the twelve apostles of the Church, Henry B. Eyring, gave a talk on the trials that come to us in this life. Here is some of what he had to say, "We have trials to face because our Heavenly Father loves us. His purpose is to help us qualify for the blessing of living with Him and His Son, Jesus Christ, forever in glory.... To qualify for that gift we had to receive a mortal body. With that mortality we understood that we would be tested by temptations and by difficulties.... But the test a loving God has set before us is not to see if we can endure difficulty. It is to see if we can endure it well. We pass the test by showing that we remembered Him and the commandments He gave us. And to endure well is to keep those commandments whatever the opposition, whatever the temptation, and whatever the tumult around us....

We need strength beyond ourselves to keep the commandments in whatever circumstance life brings to us. For some it may be poverty, but for others it may be prosperity. It may be the ravages of age or the exuberance of youth. The combination of trials and their duration are as varied as are the children of our Heavenly Father. No two are alike. But what is being tested is the same, at all times in our lives and for every person: will we do whatsoever the Lord our God will command us? Knowing why we are tested and what the test is tells us how to get help. We have to go to God. He gives us the commandments. And we will need more than our own strength to keep them."

Apostle Eyring goes on to advise that to receive God's help, we must pray to him sincerely, study the scriptures, go to church and keep the commandments of the Lord. I hope that this answer is "more human" and that it can somehow help you. I am still not sure this is the answer you are looking for but I honestly think that there is not any sure alternative that I can suggest where you might find the peace and happiness you long for.

Sincerely,

Donny Osmond


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