| Question |
Hi Donny! In January 1997 my husband passed away in a car accident. My youngest son was only 7 mos old at the time and therefore, he really has no memory of his
father.. He is four years old now and is having a difficult time understanding that his father is in heaven. He has made comments like "I'm going to get a gun and kill
myself so I can go up in the sky with Daddy" and "I want to die tonight so I can go see Daddy". I told him if he did that he wouldn't be able to turn 5 yrs old in May, or have
a birthday party and a cake. He told me his father could make him a birthday cake. I find it hard to be able to respond to him - it is heart breaking to hear a child so young
talk this way. It's like his mind is wrestling with the whole heaven concept. He thinks that his father is in every airplane that flies by and that if he went on a plane he'd see
his Dad. Sometimes I wonder if telling him there is a heaven was a mistake, only because he just thinks it's like going to another city or place. He said the other day he
wants to punch a hole in the sky so his Dad can come down. Donny, do you have any suggestions, either your own personal ones, or ones offered by your church that
may help me put my little son at ease?
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| Response |
Please tell your sweet son that Heavenly Father has a plan for all of his children and he loves all of his children very
much. Tell him that before he came to this earth as a little baby 4 years ago, he also lived in Heaven with Heavenly Father
and Heavenly Father taught him wonderful things to help him prepare for the time that he would come to this earth.
Tell him that when he was sent down to earth as a baby that Heavenly Father placed a veil or a cover over his mind so that
he could not remember living with Him. The reason for that is so that he can learn certain things from his parents, from
his teachers, from his friends, and from his own experiences on this earth about the way life works here on this earth.
Tell him that while he lived with Heavenly Father, before he was born, Heavenly Father asked him if he would be willing to
come down here and be a little child and then go to school, become a teenager and then become an adult, get a job, get
married and raise other little children and live a long time so that he would have enough time in his life to learn all
about God and Jesus and keep their commandments and do good things to help people and by doing all of this it would be like
taking a test. By doing a good job with the test, Heavenly Father will allow him to come back and live with Him for all of
the rest of eternity after he is old!
Tell him that his daddy was asked by Heavenly Father to come home a lot sooner than most people because Heavenly Father had
some very important work for him to do back in Heaven. Tell him that most people are not asked to do that important work
when they are young like his daddy and that is a very special thing. Tell him that if he made the mistake of getting a gun
and killing himself of hurting himself in some way trying to go back to Heaven too soon, that his daddy would be very sad
about it
and so would Heavenly Father.
Explain that when he lived with Heavenly Father and learned about all the things that there
would be on this earth for him to do that he promised Heavenly Father that he would not come home too soon, but that he
would stay on the earth until Heavenly Father called for him and asked him to come back home again.
Please forgive me for putting the whole context of this e-mail into "child talk" I just thought that it might be
helpful for you to read it in "child-talk" so that as you prepare to tell it to him it might be in the right context.
Everything I have said regarding this is not only what I believe, but it is what I know to be true. The doctrine of the
Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is as you have just read it, naturally there is much more depth to it than
these simple phrases that I used above, but it is our Heavenly Fathers plan of salvation for each one of us.
The thought occurs to me that it might be helpful for you if I asked a couple of our representatives to call on you to tell
you exactly what it is that we believe in and why and how this plan of salvation can bless you, your children, and your
dear husband. I promise that it will make a major difference in your life. If you would like me to do this please write
back and give me your information and I'll have two representatives call on you.
I hope I helped in some small way.
Sincerely,
Donny Osmond
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