Beliefs > Question & Answer > Family

Question

How do Latter-day Saints view spanking today? How do YOU view it? Do Latter-day Saints even believe in it anymore?

Response

First of all, there is no published or written LDS Church policy on this. As you know, if you are a parent, those decisions are quite individualistic. I don’t profess to know exactly the right way to discipline children. I certainly have made my share of mistakes over the years. I wish they had Parenting 101 in our educational system. However, speaking for Debbie and myself after 21 years of experience, when it comes to the relationships with our children or each other as spouses "we believe that no power or influence can or ought to be maintained except by persuasion, patience, gentleness, meekness, and love unfeigned; by kindness and pure knowledge, without hypocrisy, and without guile". In other words, Christ-centered attitudes in relationships toward everyone, especially when it comes to disciplining children are essential. To say that if a child "messes up," they get spanked, basically says, "one size fits all." One size doesn’t fit all. It may be appropriate if a child is being rude to give them one little spanking on their behind, take them to their room, and instruct them to think about what’s just happened. Please be very careful with this philosophy though. To hurt a child is one of the worst things anyone could ever do. And if you feel that a spanking is appropriate for their behavior, please be careful that you don’t embarrass your child in front of others. Disciplining them is not for public display. On the other hand, if too much "spanking" of children is occurring in the home, it may become habitual on the parents’ part as a reaction to the childish actions of their little ones and that’s how abuse sets in. After the discipline has taken place and the child has made up their mind that that’s not the appropriate way to act in the family or in public, they, most likely will come and talk to their parents about it. If not, you definitely go to them and discuss it. We’ve found it a good policy in our home to spend a whole lot less energy meting out "corporal punishment" and a whole lot more energy showing forth love, kindness, patience, and talking things through. Communication is the best discipline of all. Talk to your children. Reason things through. This is difficult with the smaller children that may not understand your judgments so maybe you might try something called "time out," where the offending child must go to their room and just think for a while about what they did to deserve punishment. I do think that it is very important that after a child has been disciplined in the way the parent sees fit, after a period of time, affection and love towards that child is vitally important. You don’t want a child to perceive you as an enemy, but a loving, caring parent. That’s very important. Also, please keep in mind that a baby is not to be spanked. A baby cries. They cry for a reason. They don’t know any better. Be patient with them. Love them and hold them. That’s what they want. Only when they get a little older should the discipline start. One last thought... It is my opinion, from what I’ve seen, that when there is an over abundant amount of disciplining going on in the home, it is most likely the action of parents that are trying too hard to "control" their children rather than "teach" their children. I hope this is helpful to you. Sincerely, Donny Osmond See related multimedia presentations

Search Again                           
   

Member Log In Email: Password: Password Reminder Not yet a member of Donny.com? It's easy, and it's free! Register for your free account now!